Sometime in 1949 or 1950 walking in front of our house. That's me in the middle. Caruca is on the right, her cousin, Teresita is on the left. What follows is part of a memoir I've been writing for nearly thirty years. It helps me to remember all that came, and all I was before. "Pipo" is dad, "Mima" is mom. "Screams in the night" refers to an earlier story where, after dad and mom had left the country, and with me sleeping on a bed next to grandma, I would often hear screams from far away. I would see grandma stir and I'd ask her, "What are those screams grandma?" She very nonchalantly would reply, "They are just castrating men up on the hill. Go back to sleep."
On a cold winter’s night here in the
northeast is easy to remember the warm afternoons playing in the patio and
romping around in the backyard. It is easy to remember my next-door neighbors
and their daughter, Caruca, who to me was like an older sister. She played with
me, and babysat me since I was little. A short wall was all that separated our
homes. Her mom, Caridad, was always in our house borrowing charcoal for the
meal or chatting with grandma. Caruca’s dad, Capote, always helped dad castrate
the pig in October. He was a rural policeman. Rode around in a horse with a
rifle. They were more than the family
next door. They were our family as well.
But this was the year of screams in the
night. Pipo had left for “el Norte”, and mima had followed him. It was only
grandma and I, and a sad silence had fallen in our back yard. We were no longer
allowed to speak with our neighbors for Capote, the rural policeman, was a
Batistiano, one of “them”. Who knows, maybe he was responsible for the
castration of men up on the hill in the middle of the night. I could not talk
to Caruca. Time was silent. Even the ants were silent. Everyone was either one
of us, or one of them. Even my family was divided.
It was on a sunny Sunday that Caridad decided
to invite me to a party they were having at their house. She was kind and knew
how lonely I must be. She instructed me to sneak in the back door and quietly
sit under a table where few would see me, and not to say anything or play with Caruca.
Just sit there and enjoy the people. I did just as she told me. I sat on the
wooden crossbeam that spanned the bottom of the table and watched the people
laughing and playing music. I was happy and it almost felt like the old days
before everything changed. I was the fat little boy sitting under the table,
swaying back and forth and smiling. Suddenly I heard a loud crack. The wooden
beam I sat on split in two for I was too heavy for it. I cried and ran out of
the house through the back door. I felt bad for being fat, for breaking the
table, for embarrassing Caridad. I don’t recall how long I cried, but I do
remember Caridad comforting me as she explained to grandma what had happened.
That was the end of the happy days for sure.
In a few months grandma and I moved to great grandma’s house – a big place
where uncle Andre had his wood shop, and where there was a bed for me to sleep.
I don’t think I ever saw Caruca again. And the house I lived in with the back
yard and the ants, the roosters crowing, and the black tarantulas that came out
in the rainy season, all was now gone, and little did I know, it was all gone
forever. Gone, only to be remembered as one of many stories of a kid named
Osvaldito, and perhaps bring a tear or two to this man’s eyes.
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